When you reach your late 50s and talk about retirement, there are things to worry about before business cards. I wonder if there will still be people by my side even after I say goodbye to the people I see every day. At work, you meet several people a day just through meetings, lunch, and phone calls. But much of that connection is also created by the place and schedule of the company.
Just because you have less contact after retirement doesn't mean that all your past relationships were lies. As the reason for working together disappeared, the way relationships changed. So, what you need before retirement is not to attract a lot of people, but to slowly build relationships that you can comfortably meet outside of the company.
It's not about losing a co-worker, it's about finding out who will lead you without a title.
🧭 Check to see if there is ‘something to talk about even when there is no work to do’
Not everyone who has worked at the same company for a long time will become friends after retirement. Conversely, even if you don't meet often, conversations outside of work, such as hobbies, family stories, or changes in the neighborhood you live in, can naturally lead to a connection.
The questions below are more realistic criteria than the number of contacts.
- Is there anyone you would like to ask how you are even if you don’t have anything to ask for?
- Are you comfortable calling each other by your first name, excluding your rank?
- Is there anything we can do together even if it is not company news?
- Is this a relationship that can only be maintained if only one party keeps in contact?
You don't have to stay close to all your colleagues until after retirement. All it takes is a few people to continue the relationship while acknowledging that each other's lives are changing.
AI 생성 by 낭만자두🕯️ ‘Junto’, a small group created by Franklin
Benjamin Franklin formed a small group called ‘Junto’ with his acquaintances, including artisans and merchants, in Philadelphia in 1727. Members met regularly to ask questions about life, society, and learning, and to introduce what they had researched or written. From this meeting, the idea of using books together developed, which later led to the establishment of a membership library.
The point of Junto was not to gather many famous people. The idea is that people doing different things meet at the same time, ask one question, and have repeated conversations. What maintained the relationship was a reason to meet again and a set rhythm rather than a vague friendship.
Post-retirement gatherings don't necessarily have to be drinks or big reunions. Small gatherings where each person talks about an article they have read or looks at neighborhood issues together connect people and goals at the same time. However, there is no need to keep a meeting that does not suit you for a long time as if it is an obligation.
🤝 Try to make one connection outside of the company before retirement.
It's not easy to suddenly make new friends the day you retire. It's a good idea to expand your living radius a little while you're still working at a company. Activities that allow you to meet the same people at a set time, such as a neighborhood walking group, library class, or exercise class, are less stressful.
There is no need to organize a huge social gathering. It's better to say to a colleague you've known for a long time, "Let's have lunch sometimes even after I retire," and then make an actual date. You could make an appointment to go for a walk once a month with a close friend, or set aside a day of the week to talk on the phone with your siblings.
AI 생성 by 낭만자두🏡 Create a ‘third place’ that you are familiar with
Having a place where you can stay regularly other than your home or office will prevent your life radius from suddenly narrowing after retirement. These are places where you meet people naturally even without special appointments, such as the library, a community center class, a sports facility, or a religious or volunteer group that you go to at the same time every week.
The goal of making deep friends from the beginning can be daunting. You can start by getting to know the faces of the people you greet at the same time and exchanging a word or two. Relationships grow more slowly through repeated brief encounters than through one long conversation.
🌿 Practice in advance even on weekdays when you spend alone
As much as preparing to meet people, it is also necessary to practice spending time alone comfortably. Imagine a weekday morning when you don't have to go to work, and decide on one task you can start on your own. It's good to do things that don't depend too much on money or promises, like going for a walk, grocery shopping, reading a book, or writing at a cafe.
Even people who like to be alone don't necessarily have a need for connection. You don't have to go to a meeting every day, but see if you have someone to call when you're sick, someone to say hello to once a week, or someone to just say hello to around town. Conversely, even if you like people, if you feel anxious every time you spend time alone, you can start practicing for a short period of time.
If being alone continues to be painful and even your sleep or eating is disturbed, it is not something you should endure unconditionally. You can inform your family or someone you trust about your condition and seek help from a local mental health center or medical institution.
☕ Little connection of the week
First, contact one person you would like to meet outside of the company. Instead of “sometime,” it is better to use sentences with a date, such as “How about lunch next Wednesday?” Also, write down one weekday activity you want to spend alone.
When it comes to relationships after retirement, it's more important to have a reason to meet again outside of the company than the number of people. If the title disappears and tastes, greetings, and each other's ordinary days remain, the relationship can continue in a different form.
